LOL News: Police parade goat as robbery suspect

It was a shocking sight yesterday as men of the Kwara State Police Command paraded a goat as an armed robbery suspect.

The goat "robbery suspect"
The goat "suspect" is being detained over an alleged attempt to snatch a Mazda car. The mysterious goat, according to the Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Tunde Mohammed, while briefing bewildered journalists at the Force headquarters, is an armed robber who attempted to snatch the said car, Wednesday night, and later transformed into the goat in a bid to escape arrest.

He explained that men of a vigilance group in Anifowose Ipata/Oloje areas of the state capital had chased two armed robbery suspects who wanted to demobilise the Mazda car with the intention of stealing it, and

"while one of them escaped, the other was about to be apprehended by the team when he turned his back on the wall and turned to this goat. They quickly grabbed the goat and here it is.’’ Mohammed said.

The police spokesman said the goat "armed robbery suspect" will not be left off the hook until investigations into the case are concluded.

He also said that no fewer than five stolen vehicles have been recovered by the state Police Command while some suspects were also arrested. Among those arrested, he said was one Idowu Oni of Araromi area of Akure who escaped from Akure Prison.

He added that the escaped convict was arrested in Ilorin after stealing a Mazda 323 car belonging to Mrs. Henrietta Ayijesu.

He also said another armed robbery and rape suspect was in their custody, assuring that the suspects will soon appear in court.

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NEWS UPDATE: Nigerian Motorcyclists Wear Pumpkins To Evade Helmet Law

Motorcyclists in Nigeria have been wearing dried pumpkin shells on their heads to dodge a new law forcing them to wear helmets, authorities say.

Officials in the northern city of Kano said they had stopped several riders with "improvised helmets", following this month's introduction of the law.

Road safety officials said calabash-wearers would be prosecuted.

Thousands of motorbikes have been impounded around the country and taxi motorbike drivers have staged protests.

Calabashes are dried pumpkin shells more commonly used to carry liquid.

According to the new law, all motorbike drivers and motorbike passengers must wear helmets.

Kano Federal Road Safety Commission commander Yusuf Garba told the BBC they were taking a hard line with people found using the improvised helmets.

"We are impounding their bikes and want to take them to court so they can explain why they think wearing a calabash is good enough for their safety," he said.

Fifty motorbikes had been seized so far in Kano city alone, he added.

Menace

Motorcycle taxis, called "achaba" in the north of the country and "okada" in the south, are a cheap way for Nigerians to get around congested and chaotic city streets.

Many drivers of the motorcycle taxis are furious over the new law, which came into force on New Year's Day.

In the city of Kaduna, drivers waved palm fronds and rode in convoy to protest at the price of helmets, which can cost up to $29 (£20).

They say passengers often steal the helmets once they reach their destination.

Stories have also appeared in the local papers highlighting passengers' fears that the helmets could be used by motorcyclists to cast spells on their clients, making it easy for them to be robbed.

"Some people can put juju inside the helmets and when they are worn the victim can either lose consciousness or be struck dumb," passenger Kolawole Aremu told the Daily Trust newspaper.

Local government authorities often give motorbikes to jobless young men, saying it gives them a way to make a living.

But the BBC's Andrew Walker in the capital, Abuja, says handing out the vehicles does not address the underlying cause of Nigeria's economic problems.

It is often an attempt to buy support for elections, our correspondent says.

The number of motorcycle taxis in big cities has exploded in recent years, causing concern about road safety.

Often untrained and illiterate, the drivers are considered a menace by many motorists.

Fatal accidents are common. Road safety authorities say almost every collision in Nigeria's cities involves an okada.

More than 4,000 people die on Nigeria's roads every year and 20,000 are injured, according to the Federal Road Safety Commission.

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NEWS UPDATE: AY Is Comedian Of The Year •Gets New Car, N1m

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Upwardly mobile comedian, Ayo Makun a.k.a. AY, says that God’s mercy in his life and career shall endure forever, having won the comedian of the year award at the maiden edition of Diamond Awards for Comedy.

AY at the weekend won the prize which included a brand new Kia automobile and N1million cash, during a well-organised ceremony held at Planet One (De Event Place), Maryland, Lagos.

Dedicating the award to his mentor and king of comedy, Ali Baba, AY who attended the event with his wife and daughter, was full of thanks to God for blessing him throughout the year.

According to him, the award which he received exactly a week after a well-attended church wedding on Saturday 29 November crowns all his achievements in the year 2008.
“This is my year of breakthroughs, I am so happy. Early this year, God blessed me with a beautiful daughter, I bought a new car, my T.V. programme made its debut, I married my wife formally in the church just last week and now, I have won the award for Comedian of the Year."
“This year is indeed a year of breakthrough for me,” he said, promising not to rest on his oars.

AY was nominated in three other categories before he finally clinched the Comedian of the Year award.

Speaking after the ceremony, adjudged the best and only credible comedy awards ever organised, initiator of the event, Ms. Ladi Gombe, said her company will continue to build structures that will make the comedy awards unbeatable, even in years to come.

She noted that the award ceremony was borne out of her passion for the genre of comedy in Nigeria’s entertainment industry.
“This is for real and we shall make sure that the awards get a boost next year,” she added.

The awards continued and snowballed into an all-night party, where guests and award winners were given a treat at The Place, G.R.A., Ikeja.

Stop Pumping Gas: Ten Hot Home Office Jobs

With fuel prices topping four dollars per gallon in some states, many Americans want to keep their paychecks in their pockets and out of their gas tanks. Thanks to cheap Internet access and fast computers, some workers can perform their jobs just as well from home as they can in the office. Government analysts recently identified ten fast-growing jobs that combine higher-than-average hourly wages with the benefits of working from home.
#1: Administrative Services Manager

Traditionally, administrative services managers oversee large support staffs in offices such as hospitals and law firms. As larger employers consolidate responsibilities for multiple locations into a handful of positions, more administrative services managers have earned the option to work some or all of their hours from a home office. Earning an associate's or bachelor's degree in business can help you gain the skills necessary for this managerial telecommuting job that often pays more than $30 per hour.
#2: Computer Systems Analyst

These information technology professionals help companies design state-of-the-art systems to run businesses. As employers use telecommuting jobs as a key strategy in their recruitment efforts, computer systems analysts often test new ideas at their own home offices. Learning about tools like virtual private network (VPN), video chat, and virtual desktops during a computer science degree program can help qualify graduates for home-based jobs that pay over $30 per hour.
#3: Database Manager

All kinds of companies rely on databases, from mom-and-pop service organizations to global retailers. Because most databases can be maintained from any live Internet connection, a growing number of database managers work remotely over secure, private networks. Though some database managers earn salaries from large employers, specialists with business degrees and computer training can earn over $30 an hour working from home as freelance database specialists.
#4: Public Relations Specialist

Because most public relations tasks involve phone or email, many PR specialists enjoy working from home at least a few days per week. With a bachelor's degree in communications, an office veteran can transition to a home-based job writing press releases and responding to media requests. Experienced PR professionals can complete online business training programs to launch their own practices as freelancers in home offices. In both cases, public relations specialists frequently earn more than $22 per hour.
#5: Paralegal

As more Americans seek quality legal representation, many law firms rely more heavily on paralegals for research assignments and routine tasks. Unlike lawyers, who must complete law school and pass a state bar exam, paralegals can start assisting on cases after completing an associate's degree program. Some law firms prefer to hire telecommuting paralegals to avoid adding office space. Other employers like the flexibility of bringing on temporary paralegals to cover sudden spikes in their caseloads. In both cases, many home-based paralegals earn over $20 an hour.
#6: Probation Officer

With many state governments trying to balance crowded jails with increased prosecution, many local agencies seek home-based probation officers.While the job often includes making site visits, many probation officers spend a significant portion of time on the phone or on email from home offices. With a bachelor's degree in social work, an experienced security professional can transition to this home-based career that offers a typical salary of $20 per hour plus government benefits.
#7: Web Design Professional

Early Web designers often received criticism for being teenagers working from home in their parents' attics. However, today's most successful Web design professionals enjoy home offices that boast high-speed Internet connections and fast workstations. Earning over $20 per hour as a home-based Web designer requires design skill, programming prowess, and a solid career portfolio. Most novice designers pick up all three of these success ingredients during Web design degree programs, many of which are available online.
#8: Desktop Publisher

Just as small businesses rely on public relations professionals to tell their stories, company owners look to desktop publishing professionals to make their stories look good in print. Advanced publishing tools now make it possible for desktop publishers to work from home, often earning over $20 as freelancers or in staff positions. Advanced training courses in graphic design and desktop publishing help these specialists retain the cutting-edge skills that help build strong client rosters.
#9: Medical Transcriptionist

As many doctors' offices and health care facilities struggle to meet the demands of increased patient loads, home-based medical transcriptionists ride to the rescue. By leveraging skills gained in campus-based or online medical transcription training programs, these specialists can earn $14 or more per hour without leaving home. In many cases, agencies or employers also cover the costs of computers and Internet connections for efficient transcriptionists.
#10: Virtual Assistant

Bootstrapping a business in today's economy often requires creative thinking. Some of the most creative and successful professionals in consulting, real estate, and health care have realized that they can reap the benefits of having full-time administrative assistance without the costs of expanding their own offices. Virtual assistants provide high-end secretarial tasks on demand for clients, usually from home offices. Completing an online training course is often the first step toward an essential work-from-home job that pays $13 or more per hour.

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READ:Six Jobs That Pay over $100,000

Think you either have to be a celebrity or endure years of medical or law school to pull down six figures? Think again. These top careers approach and exceed six figure salaries, and they're easy to train for online.

Career Training for $100,000+ Salaries

Check out some of these six-figure jobs for the rest of us, most with online career training opportunities. Salary statistics provided by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Career Spotlight: Medical and Health Services Managers

The complex organization of a doctor's office is no challenge to trained medical and health services managers, who use their targeted health care administration knowledge to navigate patient records, equipment outlays, and medical research databases.

* Recommended Training: While a master's degree is standard credential for health care managers, smaller facilities may hire graduates with bachelor's degrees. Health care administration, office management, and health care management are all popular degrees.
* Earn Six Figures: While mean annual wages for the career were $84,980 in 2007, medical and health services managers working in the state of Washington earned $111,720. Those working for scientific research and development services earned $117,070 nationwide.

Career Spotlight: Actuaries

Mathematics, statistics, and business combine in this career, which has trained professionals working with insurance companies and private business to determine and minimize the cost of risk. Top actuaries are trusted to explain their complex formulations to business executives.

* Recommended Training: A strong background in both mathematics and general business is desirable for top actuaries. Some may hold degrees in finance, economics, or business. Regardless, a bachelor's degree is recommended.
* Earn Six Figures: Mean annual wages for actuaries nationwide were $95,420 in 2007. Those working as consultants earned $107,080. New Jersey was a top-paying state, with earnings of $100,590.

Career Spotlight: Computer Applications Software Engineers

One of the fastest-growing careers in the nation is also one of the most lucrative. Computer applications software engineers create the applications used every day in business and personal computing. With over 226,000 careers expected to enter the field through 2016, demand for these IT pros is expected to be high.

* Recommended Training: A bachelor's degree in computer science or software engineering is suggested by hiring managers in the field. Additional certification programs may be necessary to keep skills current.
* Earn Six Figures: While mean annual earnings across the nation were $85,660 in 2007, computer applications software engineers working in computer and peripheral equipment manufacturing earned $101,100.

Career Spotlight: Personal Financial Advisors

Personal financial advisors work on a one-on-one basis with their clients, recommending investments and products for wealth management. In another career expected to see a lot of growth, about 72,000 jobs for personal financial advisors are projected to enter the field through 2016. About a third are self-employed, often working from home.

* Recommended Training: Bachelor's degrees in finance, business administration, accounting, statistics, or economics are recommended for personal financial advisors. Those looking to make six figures in their work may be encouraged to earn an MBA.
* Earn Six Figures: Mean annual wages across the occupation were $89,220 in 2007. Personal financial advisors working in New York earned $131,660, and those working nationwide in financial investment earned $101,890.

Career Spotlight: Sales Managers

Acting as both masters of human psychology and logistical gurus, sales managers use their infectious charm and top-notch people skills to close the deal. Top-level managers may interact with high-profile clients while they organize a team of lower-level sales representatives. This fast-paced job may require high levels of travel.

* Recommended Training: A bachelor's or master's degree in business administration with an emphasis on marketing is recommended by hiring managers in the field. Sales managers should be confidant with the technology of their profession, including presentation software like PowerPoint.
* Earn Six Figures: Mean annual wages for sales managers nationwide were $106,790 in 2007. Those working for automobile dealers earned $114,650, while top earners in the financial investment industry earned $151,070.

Your mileage may vary, but training for six figure careers like the ones above can be the smartest way to get your foot in the door. Hiring managers look for the best, and a degree program can prove your worth among even the toughest competition.

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